


Brothertale

by Nakuro



Category: Undertail - Fandom, Undertale
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2018-09-17 09:54:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9318077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakuro/pseuds/Nakuro
Summary: This is my version of the undertale AU "Brothertale". I didn't know it was an AU before I started writing it, I know bad on me, but I couldn't think of another name for it. SOOOO I just made it my version of the AU. Enjoy. It is going to be very tear jerky but will have a happy end. I'm Not sure what else to say that won't give anything away so, enjoy.





	1. Where To Start?

**Author's Note:**

> This along with all my other stories take time to write. I need to be in a good mood to write them and if they pull on my heartstrings then it takes longer. I try to write believable stories so please be patient with me as some may take longer to write then others. I have not given up on any of them. :)

**_Brothertale_ **

**_By: Nakuro_ **

**_My version of it at least._ **

 

**_Chapter 1: Where to Start?_ **

So I’m not sure where to start. I mean every story has to start somewhere but reliving these moments takes away from the present. But I suppose if I should start this story it should start with the man that made me who I am today. His name to me will always be, Dad, old man, and G, but you likely all know him by a very different name. Wingdings Gaster, or W.D. Gaster to some. But either way it’s the same man. Now, you might dislike him because of the stories you’ve heard or claim that he was wrong in his ideals but just like you would if the King ordered you, he was simply obeying orders.

I will not say he did the right thing, and likewise I will not say he did the wrong thing. As for me and what I saw was limited. Still I WILL say that it SEEMED like he did the right thing to me. Whatever that means to you I can not change. But, it cannot be argued that the man was a genius among geniuses. I didn’t realize it at the time… how stressful and painful being a genius was. But… well… if what I know now makes me a genius as Alphys is so quick to state then yeah, I know about being a genius now. And it’s not everything it’s cracked up to be. But I’m getting ahead of myself again. I have a tendency to do that. Ok so let’s back up back to G. So as you can probably guess I’m Sans, the older of his sons.

Papyrus is the younger one. Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking. “But Sans, you're shorter than he is how can you be the older of the two?” And to an extent I don’t know. I just am. The little trick I use to remember it sometimes, because of how much Papyrus takes care of me is, he’s taller, I’m older. Simple as that really. But enough with the back story. My earliest memory is when I was being held by G in the little crib, hammock contraption that he had made to hold me comfortably while I was sleeping in his lap but still have both hands free to work, as well as a blanket in there to keep me warm if I needed it.

I often had trouble keeping my temperature right growing up. It was rare that I was ever “healthy” temperature. I was always, too hot, or too cold. I dislike that it can still happen now though not as much as it used to. I was always with either mom or dad growing up. I was rarely alone. That was fine with me I mean heck, who wanted to be bonely? Still I remember waking up from some sort of nightmare, for the life of me I can’t remember it now, but Dad was shushing me so gently.

“Shhhh. It’s ok babybones. You’re ok.” He always sounded so calm even when I was freaking out, or something scary was going on, he was always just calm about whatever it was. “Relax Sans. I’ve got you. Shhhh. I’m right here. Nothing will hurt you while I’m around. I promise.”

In fact it’s because of him that I see promises the way I do. That they are to never be broken. That they are your word, your law so to speak. You never break them. Ever. Even at the cost of falling down. His words calmed me, helped me relax. Even now when I think about him… my soul hurts from pain but mostly it glows with love. This man is who I have always wanted to be, even when I know no one can ever be G again because only G can be G. I still yearn to be exactly like him.

“What’s going on dear?” Mom was naturally soft spoken, and part of me thinks I inherited that from her. “Is he ok?”

“Oh he seems fine.” G answered mom and I remember her sweet smile as she placed one of her boney hands to my forehead. “Probably just a bad dream. He’s safe though.”

“Awe my poor little baby bones.” Mom was by far the only person that could make me both love and hate being called babybones.

She picked me up working with my dad to get me out of the hammock and gently rocked me. She had always been a very loving mother. I don’t remember much about her, just her voice. I mean I was young when she passed but I remember that her powers were often orange. An occasional blue attack here and there but mainly orange. Whereas Dad was more blue and white than orange. In fact I don’t even know if he could use orange. Hell he probably could, just never felt the need to.

So she rocked me and hummed soft lullabies to me. It didn’t take me long to fall back asleep. When I woke up next time it was from a better sleep but I was hungry and because I couldn’t really speak I started to cry. I know now, but obviously didn’t at the time, that mom and dad were often as quiet as could be around be not because I was a light sleeper, but because my cries were so quiet. Dad was the first to react to it and backed up in his seat away from the desk so he wouldn’t hurt me when he stood up.

“Alright Sans, shhhhh.” He touched my hand and I gripped it. I don’t remember if I knew that he was taking me to mom or just trusted him. “Sweetie. Our little one is hungry.”

“Awe.” I remember being gently moved from arms that were really thick bones, I soon found out those were dad’s arm bones to bones that weren’t as thick but easily just as strong as Dad’s.

It didn’t take long for me to start eating. And I remained that way for a few minutes before I just wanted to be held. And because I was always a daddy’s boy whined when mom held me instead. I didn’t scream or cry louder but I obviously wasn’t happy. I didn’t have long to wait though as mom handed me over to dad as soon as he finished his little experiment.

“Oh Sans, shhhh.” Dad always sounded like he was laughing and I loved feeling like that. “Oh you little troublemaker. Shhhh.”

My whimpering quieted and I held to him the best that I could. I know he loved me and took great care of me. However being a young skeleton kid I was often a pain in the lab. At the same time Dad didn’t trust anyone else to take care of me so he set up baby gates around the lab so I could always see him, talk to him, but couldn’t get in his way. I was running around like the little whirlwind I was when I remember sitting and just starting to think.

I wasn’t really listening to anyone, but I would go quiet sometimes to think over an answer someone had given me, to work on a problem which answer had eluded me for a long while, or just because I had gotten too cold or hot again and need to either get near the heater with the blanket or the tiny fan.

“Dad?” He was clearly busy and focused on something when he made a little, “hm?” sound. He only made that sound if he wanted to let me know he’d heard me but couldn’t really say “Yes?” or, “Yes Sans?” Like he normally did. “I want a little brother or sister.”

“What?” I couldn’t help but jump, I’d never broken his concentration before and I thought I might be in trouble because of it.

“I’m sorry.” It was an instant reaction but instead of being sighed at I heard footsteps and then they stopped before I felt his hand on my head.

“It’s ok Sans. I’m not upset.” I couldn’t help but watch as he sat down on the floor next to me. “Now what do you mean you want a sibling?”

“What’s a sibling?” I did a lot of reading in my younger years but that didn’t mean I understood everything I read, or heard for that matter.

Dad seemed to understand it though and without missing a beat launched into an explanation. “A sibling is a little brother or sister, or a big brother or sister. A member of the family that isn’t an animal or your parents.”

“Oh.” That was usually my reaction to finding out new things and G always chuckled.

“So, what’s this about you wanting a sibling?” He gently poked me getting me to laugh. “Are we to old and annoying your mother and I?”

“Nohohohoho!” The laughter came out hard as Dad gently tickled me but he stopped so I could answer him. “It’s just you and mom are so busy, and I have so much energy throughout the day. It doesn’t seem fair to you.”

I never DID speak or act like a child most of the time. But I was naturally curious. I didn’t know it at the time because I only had mom and dad to compare myself too and they were both really smart. So it never really struck me as odd when certain things popped into my head that others didn’t think about. But he kept looking at me as I fretted. G was strong, insanely so, it’s why I’m as strong as I am. Having a teacher that almost no one can beat will do that to you.

“Well it’s not quite as easy as wishing for it Sans.” Dad always did seem to remember how to say things in ways I could understand them. “But I’ll talk with your mother and see what we can arrange ok?”

“Ok!” I dashed off to go play, maybe if I had known then what I know now… well...does it really matter? It happened.

The next few weeks went along like they normally did until at one point Dad really changed drastically. He barely talked to me, was never around and I felt like maybe I had done something. So I tried to stay hidden, maybe he needed some space. However three days after the change he started calling for me. I came over to him confused and slightly scared I might be in trouble, though I had no idea for what.

“Son… I’m sorry.” It was only then that I noticed the tears and the stains on his boney face.

“Dad? What’s wrong?” Knowing if I was in trouble I had caused him pain I attempted to hug him to melt that pain away.

“Oh son.” He clung to me and I even felt his voice crack slightly as he answered me. “Your mother has fallen down.”

“What?!” I couldn’t believe it, she was this strong skeleton that no matter what never died. She would always be there. In my pain I know I hurt Dad with my words. “This is your fault! You’ve been so busy lately you never cared for either of us!”

“Sans.” His voice as I recall sounded weak, but I was in so much pain that I pushed away from his hug. “Sans! Come back!”

“Leave me alone!” I yelled back and for the first time in my life slammed the door to my room.

At first I couldn’t stop crying. It was just tears. Tears and pain, and I felt like I was falling down too. That night I waited for Dad to come in and say something along the lines of “you need to come out and eat dinner.” but he never did. I heard footsteps outside my door and curled within my blankets crying and dreading when the door would open and I’d have to hear his voice. But it never came.

I’m not sure how long I waited before I went to the door to see if he was waiting for me and found a tray on the ground. On it was a note and my dinner. I picked up the note still crying. I wasn’t sure if I would ever stop. I may not have spent all my time with mom but I still adored her. I slowly opened it and read it. I could tell right away that it was Dad who had written it. I could always read his writing but most others couldn’t.

“Son. I know you're upset, and you probably don’t want to see me.” I could even feel his tears through the letter. “And that’s fine I understand. But if you need me. If you want to talk to me, or… I don’t know scream at me… whatever I’m still here Sans. I haven’t left. I made you dinner. You can’t not eat son. You need your food. I’m in my room in the lab if you want to talk.”

I looked down at the food. It was my favorite thing to eat, even with one of my favorite treats that Dad would let me get sometimes. Homemade casserole with a cheesecake dessert, and a bottle of ketchup. Normally this would make my day and I’d be so excited, but now… all the joy was gone. It was simply food I needed to eat to stay alive. Even the ketchup wasn’t doing anything for me. I ate simply because I was hungry though not because I wanted to. I was still young at this point. Only five or maybe six. But I still wouldn’t go see Dad until two years had passed.

It wasn’t so much we never saw each other, we did. Like when he was getting coffee during the day and I was making myself some microwavable meals. And it wasn’t so much awkward and we wouldn’t talk just more like neither of us really knew what to say. What do you say when your whole world has been completely torn apart and you only have a third of the pieces to rebuild it. It’s something I’ve shared with Dad my whole life. If we don’t know what to say we don’t say anything. Leave our thoughts to just that.

So we’d say “Hi” or “How you doing?” but most times it was just we say that and then fall into silence. Both of us watching the other to see if they would speak their mind. But when they didn’t Dad just grabbed his coffee, turned, and headed back into the lab. Me to my room. Two years of this and you would think it would be awkward to see each other. And in some ways that was true but mostly we both didn’t know what to say. It was mom who usually was the one that said: “Come on! Out with your thoughts! Out with uhm!” And only then did we share.

Without her here… I don’t know… It felt wrong to try and take over that role. She wasn’t here anymore, but she was. If that makes any sense. But after two years I figured I was tired of hiding. I wanted to go back to things being the way they were… well as much as we could. So I stood from my bed and walked across my messy room making a mental note that I needed to clean it when I got back, and headed down the stairs to the lab. Entering the lab felt a little wrong. I mean I hadn’t been down here in two years but it still looked like nothing had changed.

Minus a few things being slightly out of place and knocked over. I kept looking at the tiled walls and never noticed just how much of a prison it _looked_ like. How much of a prison it _felt_ like. No wonder dad wanted to keep me in here with him growing up. I knew I should go to his room but my curiosity got the better of me and I had to start looking around the place. Really looking. I found bookshelves to the right next to a metal table that had a few vials filled with stuff of various colors within them. They made me a little nervous even without knowing what they were. I found a book hidden within the table of vials. Behind a few and standing on my tip toes gently moved them out of the way to grab the book.

It took a few tries but I eventually got it and noticed how old the pages were, how much they had been used. Written on. I knew I shouldn’t snoop through G’s things, but I had to know what was in here. So making sure no one was around, and scanning the area a bit I sat down to read it. It was old man’s writing alright. No one could write like he did. It’d been awhile since I’d read his writing so I was a little rusty on it. Still I wasn’t going to let that stop me.

I started reading the parts I knew then using context clues to piece together the parts I didn’t remember. I don’t remember just how long I sat there trying to read the whole thing but when I heard a door opening I freaked. I shoved the book back onto the table without looking knocking over a few vials. I winced at the look of the destruction I caused before dashing upstairs to my room. I didn’t notice it at the time but one of the vials that had spilled and broken had landed straight in my eye.

I didn’t notice this until after I got upstairs, curled in my bed hoping I wouldn’t be found out. But it started to hurt alot, and by a lot I didn’t mean a little bit I meant I had never felt something this painful. It felt like I was being burned alive from the inside out and I bit my pillow hoping to muffle my crying and whines. Why did it hurt so much? It was a liquid color! I then turned towards my door hearing it open and saw Dad standing there.

I felt sure I was in trouble as I saw his face. “Sans!” He didn’t even sound like anything I had ever heard in my life as he rushed over to me quicker than I ever thought he could. “Shit! Alphys! Get the stabilizing machine up and running now!” I’d never heard the old man sound so panicked and at the same time so much like a leader. “Sans. Sans listen you have to stay with me ok?!” This was the first time I ever heard him sound so scared in my entire life and I felt horrible because I couldn’t help calm him as all I could feel was pain.

At this point I don’t remember much, just muffled voices, orders being given that I couldn’t hear, and me being laid in a bed of some kind while I was having many things placed on me. I don’t remember just how long I was passed out before the world started coming back into focus. It was foggy and blurry making it difficult to see for a long while. When the world slowly came out of smudge stick I blinked a few times. Then my skull which had felt like it was flying in circles slowly started coming back to reality.

It felt heavy. Really heavy. Like there was some sort of huge weight on it. I moved my hand to try and find out why and found not only was that impossible but some kind of beeping alarm sounded that was annoying as all get out. But the alarm stopped only for me to feel the large hole filled hand of Dad on my face.

“Easy son. Easy.” He sounded calmer. That was a partial relief. “You can’t move just yet, you could cause some serious damage and that wouldn’t be good.”

I felt liquid on my cheek and my still processing skull picked up on it and slowly started adding two and two together. I wanted to speak but something was hindering me. My blurry eyes lowered to try and find out why to see my nose and mouth in a plastic cone type thing. I know my eyes must have conveyed my confusion but no sooner had I seen this then I felt dad hug me gently enough to not harm me but tight enough to know I was somehow related to how scared he had been before.

“Son. Thank the stars you're ok.” Dad told me and I could only watch him. “I’ve got to keep a close eye socket on you from now on don’t I?” I remember he gave a dry chuckle at this. “And here I thought at your age you would be done giving me near heart attacks, well if I had a heart. I simply have the barebones.” I couldn’t help but smile and when I tried to laugh had to stop because it hurt and only made me cough. “Okay, okay. Shhhh shhhh. It’s ok. No more jokes.” He placed a hand on my skull gently and looked at me again. “I can remove the one on your skull if you promise not to move even an inch Sans. I mean it.” He was in his serious voice and it scared me a bit but knowing how I was and knowing if he was serious there was good reason for it I looked down. With it not feeling heavy I would try and move all over. “Okay then. Thank you for being truthful.”

I felt him touch my skull again but leave whatever was holding me down, on. I watched him pull over the glass cover and soon found out I was in one of the Intensive care units. This freaked me out a bit because if I was in one of these things I had come close to… oh god! What was in those colored tubes?! Why had I come close to falling down!? Why?!

“Son, son. Shhhhh.” I don’t even remember when Dad started talking to me again but I wanted to curl up in a ball or hug him tightly. “I know. I know you're scared. You gave this old man a scare too. But I’m here Sans. I’m not going anywhere until your better. I promise.”

I felt liquid on my face but I wasn’t sure if it was because of the fear, the fact I hadn’t spent as much time as I had wanted to with the old man, or because I was a little sore. But the tears came anyway and instead of… I don’t know telling me it was alright G just let me cry. I mean he wiped the tears but he didn’t try to stop them. I’ve always wondered why he let me cry, but I’ve never found out.

“It’s a good thing that if you had to knock over the vials, that you knocked over the ones you did.” I looked up at him as he said that and it was only then I noticed just how tired he was. “I mean I’m not happy any of them were knocked over but if you had to knock over some I’m glad it was the vials that I had completed. The ones that I had finally made safe. Though… heh. I’m so tired now I don’t know what I did to make them. And all the evidence I had is gone.” He groaned and sat down hard on the nearby chair. “Whooo. But you're safe. And if that’s the only thing I’ve gotten out of this then fine. So be it.” I let my still blurry vision glance down to his hand which I felt on mine but all I could see was blobs of white. “And heh. Go figure it falls on the son that is so much like myself.”

I tried to stay up but I felt so tired and before long my eye sockets closed and I crashed into blackness. When I woke up next time I noticed Dad interacting with another white blob but this time when I tried to move the alarm didn’t go off until the things holding me down were pulled. Dad, or rather the bigger white blob seemed to say something to the smaller one and walk over to me.

“Easy Sans. You're recovering well but don’t push it.” I remember looking at him and pointing and it was the only thing I could do up and to the right a little my wrist unable to move much in it’s binds. He seemed to get the idea though. “Alright Sans but you won’t be able to hear my voice if I do that. I’ll have to turn on the air.” I asked him with pleading eyes. I hated not being able to speak. “Alright Son.”

It was… unpleasant to say the least when the mask was removed along with the tube that had been put in my mouth to help the mask work. As G had said as soon as it was out it was a real struggle to breathe that is until the capsule closed and I heard a hiss sound followed by gasps of air. I remember looking at him and trying to speak thinking for sure he would never understand me though the glass and with how quiet I was.

“I’m sorry Dad. I’m so sorry.” I felt more tears but even if I could stop them which currently I couldn’t, I wouldn’t have tried. “I looked through your diary. The one near the vials. That’s why I broke them. I’m sorry I made a mess. I’m sorry I read something I shouldn’t. I’m sorry I almost fell down. I’m sorry-”

“Shh.” There it was again that calm voice in the face of a stressful and fearful situation. “It’s ok Sans. I should have put an alarm on the lab door when I started work on the souls. I was so stressed and worried at the time it didn’t occur to me. It was my fault Sans not yours. Relax. Take deep breaths and just focus on getting better. Ok?”

I had never been more happy that I knew his handwriting as he was writing out his answers to me since I couldn’t hear him. “Ok.” I relented for the time being. Mostly because I still felt so weak.

I hated feeling so weak, but I was stuck that way now. Darn it all. Still I knew I would pass out again soon so I had to enjoy the time I had with G, before then. I realised I had fallen silent but he hadn’t walked away like part of me had expected.

“Dad? I…” I hated to sound weak, even to my own father. “I can’t see. Well I mean I can but it’s all blobs.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He smiled at me which put my mind at ease. I could tell even if I couldn’t see it. “I’ve got something that can fix that once you come out, but it could also be because you're still recovering.”

I fell silent again mostly because my next thought wasn’t a happy one. Dad never really seemed to be affected, ok I couldn’t say that, seeing as how I’ve rarely seen him lately. He never seemed to have cared that mom had died. Still I wanted to ask because it still affected me a great deal.

“Dad?” Here we go it was now or never.

“Yes Sans?” He sounded so normal I hoped my question wouldn’t break that.

“Do you miss mom?” A long moment of silence passed and I know I was sweating buckets. If I could have dashed off to hide in my room I would have. I never liked it when Dad went silent.

“Everyday.” His voice seemed to be fighting to hold back tears. “You need to rest Sans.”

That signaled the end of the conversation. It wasn’t often Dad did something like that, but when he did it was permanent. I fell silent with a slight frown as he did walking back over to the smaller white blob and when I felt my eye sockets drooping this time I didn’t fight them. The next time I awoke Dad smiled at me.

“There all fixed, now just to unclip this.” I felt all the gentle weight that had been holding me down release. “There we go. Now this might hurt a bit.” I winced as he pulled something out of my hand and soul. “I know Sans. I’m sorry. No fun. Now how’s the sight?”

I let the question sink in for a bit as I slowly sat up and looked around. “I can see the stairs to the main office and everything beyond that just fine but you're still blurry.”

“Right well stand up, slowly Sans I’m going to get you something that will help with that. But you have to be careful with them.” I did as he requested slowly standing up with a wince and using the bed to help support my weight. After what felt like forever I managed to stand without help. “Ok look up for me.” I slowly did so before grunting slightly as I felt him place something on my skull then tape it on both sides. “Alright, try looking at me. Any better?”

I blinked, the world far away was fuzzy but Dad was clear as day. I went to touch my skull to see why when I felt something hard yet lightweight. “What?”

“They’re glasses. Use them when you need to see things close up ok?” Dad smiled back at me and I could dash into a hug.

I hugged him for what seemed like forever. When was the last time I was able to touch him like this? Be close to him like this? Able to be around him like this? Whatever the answers were it was to long. Way too long. He patted my skull gently and then returned the hug.

“I missed you too Son.” I tried to hide my face in his clothes covered ribs not wanting him to see my tears. Even if he felt them. “My brave boy.”

For the next two days I stayed away from the lab altogether. Which in turn meant I barely got to see G again and things had gone back to before the near falling down incident but AFTER mom had passed away. After two days however I managed to screw up the courage to head back down to the lab. The place I had grown up in my younger years, the place that had so many fond memories dashed by one freak incident I caused that nearly cost me my life. Still G was down there and I wanted to talk to him.

We hadn’t really gotten the chance when I was on my possible death bed. Probably because… well I was on my possible death bed. Jokes aside I walked down the stairs with more steadiness than I felt in my heart. I raised my hand to knock on the lab door and let it still there for a moment. Would I only be in the way? Would I hinder his work? Would he be unable to focus? Maybe I should go back upstairs and not try to talk to him. Maybe there was a reason we didn’t talk anymore. Maybe… No. No more hiding. No more being a frightened little baby. He was my old man.

He wasn’t perfect but then neither was I. It was ok. Everything was going to be ok. I just had to knock, he’d open the door and everything would go back to the way it had been. I could do this! It wasn’t some monster I didn’t know behind this door it was G. That meant I had nothing to be afraid of. Taking a shaky breath I knocked on the door. The thud it made almost made me retreat and I regret to say I did step back a few steps. I looked at the door then the floor and thought about going upstairs. It felt like forever but it was probably only a minute before I heard his voice. Far away but getting closer.

“Just a minute!” He sounded somewhat chipper which was a stark contrast to my nervous aura. “Come on. Can’t you just make it easy for me?”

I was wearing my glasses only because if he WAS in need of help I wanted to know in what way. The door opened much slower than I had hoped for but it was same dad voice as always once he saw me.

“Ah Sans. Come in, come in.” He ushered me in and when I hesitantly looked up I found another small skeleton in his arms. The significantly smaller eyes and bigger size stilled my pace for a minute. I quickly recovered and walked faster to catch up with Dad. “What can I do for you?” Lanky arms, curious eyes and an aura that screamed mischief. Who was this skeleton child? “Sans?”

I snapped out of it with a jolt. “Sorry!” I knew better than to stare. I’d been raised better than that. Damn. Two years and I’d already forgotten basic manners. “I was just noticing your little friend. You on babysitting duty today?”

It didn’t often happen but sometimes King Asgore would bring over orphaned children for Dad to foster until they would strike out on their own. I knew where some of them ended up and because I didn’t have any siblings I thought of them as my siblings. Dad however didn’t chuckle like I expected him too his smile fading almost to a frown. Almost but not quite. A practiced forced smile on his skull. When had he started using that?

“No. Actually.” His words were clipped and rough like talking about it was hard for him… or painful. “He’s…” Dad took a deep breath, let it out and then suddenly turned to face me setting the child down in the baby gate contraption I used to use as a kid only for him to instead of zip around the place and try to find things to keep him, warm or cool he stayed in one place playing with a cube of colors. “Remember before your mother fell down how you asked me about getting you a sibling?”

I had to think back as I had sort of blocked out all of mom memories after learning she had fallen down. To me they were to painful to remember. But just the mention of her name brought it all back. Every memory. Every hurt. Every tear. It was as if my body was saying. “How dare you try to forget her.” so I could only nod a yes to Dad’s question.

“Right… Well I talked to your mother about it that night.” I looked up to find Dad crying himself though it hadn’t quite reached his voice yet, it was getting there. “And she wanted to give you what you wanted. She pushed herself to hard and I didn’t notice until it was too late.” By this point I was backing up like he had told me he was going to kill me. “You have to believe I did everything I could to save her Sans. I tried everything. Sans…” I backed up until my hands hit a table and while I knew dad wasn’t advancing on me I felt cornered all the same. “Sans, he’s your brother. I didn’t think it right to tell you, you had a younger brother after learning such terrible news. I’m sorry son. I’m so, so, so sorry.”

That did it my brain finally clicked two and two together and not liking what it had learned turned to a familiar coping method. Running away. I turned tail and ran as fast as I could out of that lab intent to never go back in ever again. I heard Dad sob as I left but I didn’t care and dashed into my room slamming the door. I landed on the bed hard and cried. I don’t know how long I cried but I stayed there shaking and crying for a long time. Each time I thought I was over it I would start crying again. How dare dad not save her. He saved me, but he didn’t save her. He didn’t love her but he loved me enough to save me.

It’s not fair. I need mom. I wish mom was here instead of G. It kept repeating over and over until I fell asleep. I only partially woke up when I heard the door open. I didn’t want to deal with Dad right now and turned my head away from the door before snapping.

“Go away!” I glared at the door until I heard a soft whine and reluctantly turned to see the tear stained face of the little skeleton I had just found out was my brother.

“Papyrus! Papyrus where did you go now?!” Dad sounded annoyed and worn out, yet just like with me he wasn’t going to stop until he found his son. “Come on. This isn’t the place to play in right now.”

I sighed and slowly moved to sit up. “You should listen to him.” I stood to help lead Papyrus to Dad in case because he was so young he didn’t know the house yet. “Come on. I’ll help you find him.”

I was still upset, really upset, but for some reason with him around I naturally went into nuture mode. Help, protect, keep safe. I offered my hand to Papyrus but he took a step back and I kneeled down to his level. “Hey I’m sorry if I ooofph!” I looked down at Papyrus who had attacked me in a tight hug shaking slightly. “Hey. Shhh.” I tried to take a page from Dad’s book, like he had done with me, calmly shush him to stop the tears. “You’re ok. Come on.” I wrapped my arms around him myself. “Let’s take you to Dad ok?”

I could tell by his nod he didn’t want to let go so I scooped him up and started carefully walking towards the stairs. At first I tried to call out for Dad but once he was focused on a task it was hard to snap him out of it. Not to mention after a few minutes Pap had fallen asleep. When had I started to refer to him like that? I shook the thought from my skull and silently looked for dad. I found him in the kitchen rubbing his skull.

“Where could he have gone?” He sounded so defeated.

I knocked softly on the counter and he slowly looked up his eyes widening. “I think you lost something.”

It was a soft retort though to think now at first when I found Pap in my room I wanted to tear G a new one when it came down to it… I just couldn’t. He may not have handled it in the best way but then… Neither did I. I walked over to Dad and carefully sat down next to him. We both gave a light chuckle when we saw Pap’s sleeping face.

“Thank you.” I looked at Dad his eyelids were already drooping. “For finding him.”

Seeing Dad so tired made me tired as well and looking at Papyrus’ sleeping face wasn’t helping. “Actually... he found me.”

“Mmm.” It didn’t matter what he said after that as I fell asleep.


	2. Repairing Our Relationship

**_Chapter 2: Repairing Our Relationship._ **

When I woke up next everyone was still asleep. Because this was so rare and I couldn’t just sit on my boney butt and not do anything with all the knowledge I had to do something, anything, to get my mind off it. So I carefully laid Papyrus down in Dad’s arms and went to the kitchen to make breakfast. I didn’t know much about cooking but at least I didn’t burn down the house. Much like later on I found Undyne did all the time. I was busy making Dad’s omelet when I heard footsteps and looked over to the sound to find Dad holding the still sleeping Papyrus in his arms walking towards me. 

“What are you doing?” The look on his face seemed confused. 

“Oh!... Uhm… well I was making you breakfast but if that’s not something I should do. Or something that only… Mom could do then-” 

“Relax.” His voice instantly calmed me. “Mom would be so proud of you.” I felt a hand on my skull and looked up at Dad. “As am I.” 

The words made me look towards the stove hoping to hide my tears, it didn’t work. Dad walked over, placed Pap on the couch to sleep and then teleported behind me to hug me tightly. I fought for a bit but before long I gave in and wrapped my boney hands around the old man’s arm bones. He turned off the stove with some of his magic and I know I looked up at him. 

“I’ve always been proud of you son.” When I stop to think about it, every time he used magic one of his eyes would always glow blue, while the other glowed orange. “From the first moment I saw you, to how you handled Papyrus the other night. I’ve always been proud of you.” 

I couldn’t stop it. I started crying and hugged him tightly I’m not sure how long I stayed there with him gently rubbing along my spine. But I do know I started to really let out some things in my heart. 

“I want this dad.” I hated that I was crying but then I couldn’t stop it. “I miss Mom and now you're gone and I feel so alone. I go to school but I hate it, so many people make fun of me. I don’t feel like I can call you, because you're busy and who am I to take you away from your work?” 

I knew I was a sniffing blubbering mess at this point and judging by the loud cry on the couch I had woken Papyrus up with my crying. I was half expecting Dad to release me and go take care of Papyrus but instead he picked me up, holding me like I was a babybones again and carried me to the couch. He sat down with a smile and gently touched Papyrus’ head who looked up at him. 

“I’m right here.” He smiled then looked at me and I was prepared to be yelled at. “I miss your mother too. A lot Sans. I never wanted you to feel alone. I just didn’t want to get in your way if you were healing. I didn’t want you to be making progress over your mother and then look at me and all that progress going away. I love you Sans, I would never want you to feel alone. You’re never alone. Even if you are unable to see me it doesn’t mean I’m not close enough you can’t get ahold of me. I promise you that. And as for those boneheads at school…” I couldn’t help but chuckle at his pun. “Next time that happens I WANT you to call me. Ok? I don’t care if you think I’m very busy I want you to call ok?” I couldn’t do anything but give a slight nod. 

I couldn’t help but smile as Dad put me on “brother duty” while he finished the food. I thought for sure I’d really dislike the brother that had been the reason for mom’s falling down. But strangely… I didn’t. I felt ok about it, maybe even a little happy. And the way he looked… it was very mom like so it felt like she was still here even though she wasn’t. I no longer felt alone. And it was amazing to not feel alone. That day was a weekend and as such I was able to go into the lab with dad if I wanted to and this time I took it willingly. 

You would think that being in Intensive Care, finding out Papyrus was here, that Mom had fallen down here that going into the lab would feel all kinds of wrong. But it strangely didn’t. I felt ok about it. It just felt like I hadn’t been in there for a while and was relearning it. As dad started work and put Papyrus in his play pen I played with him for a while before I eventually became curious. What was Dad working on that was so important? I walked over letting Papyrus play with his puzzle cube, which was really just a three by three rubik's cube, while I went to look. It wasn’t hard to look over Dad’s shoulder bones at this point, he was low enough it wasn’t even really a challenge. 

I noticed first the color, it was the same glowing type color of the vials I had knocked over. I didn’t know what they looked like, but I had read books, the ones dad had. Probably more times then even he knew. So while I had never seen one before I knew that no matter what, what he had in that container was a human soul. I didn’t know it at the time but he was messing with the cyan soul which was Patience. 

“That’s a human soul.” I know I sounded shocked and it was because if that was a human soul, who had killed the human? 

“Gah!” Dad jumped up in shock, knocking over the table as well as the vials on it. 

The shattering of glass filled the room, along with the large thud of the heavy metal table, and I waited for the yelling. Instead once the glass had finished completely shattering I heard the wind sound of powerful magic and looked at Dad seeing him having caught the soul in his magic before turning to face me. I backed up, the same way I do even now when Pap uses his magic, magic forces me to think I need to bring mine up too, to protect myself. 

“Don’t do that.” The calm voice hid the order well but not to one who knew him like I knew him. “Again.” The glare made me back up a bit and since I didn’t know anything about my own magic yet I felt I was going to be dusted, however, his gaze softened after that and the magic simply drew the soul towards him to hold a few inches above his hand. “Now, to answer your question, yes this is a human soul. It’s the soul of Patience.” 

“Oh?” I couldn’t help but look at Dad as he set to work again after righting the desk and cleaning up the glass. “Why do you have a human soul?” I have never in my life seen him go from so happy to a dark person I didn’t know so quickly and this time I did back up to the playpen. 

“Because I was ordered Sans.” Even his voice scared me a little. “Now please no more questions about my work.” 

“R-Right.” I couldn’t help but fall silent and look after Papyrus after that. 

I had never heard him sound so defeated and I didn’t like it. But what could I do? I was just one skeleton. And a kid at that. But the truth was he’d startled me to be so… devoid of choice. I never wanted him to ever not have a choice in anything because then that meant at one point I wouldn’t have a choice either. And that thought alone scared me to no end. So I walked over to Papyrus and just played with him for the rest of the day. Though my thoughts were filled with what do I do when I have no choice either? 

That would prove to be important in the future but I wasn’t sure just how much until much later. But to see G look that resigned… It scared me. And for good reason. He was busy working on the human souls, and the core, and when did the man sleep?! Really. No wonder he was so exhausted all the time. While I took a nap which wasn’t that surprising Dad kept working. Long into the night. That’s when I noticed I would have to take on mom’s roll and call the shots. I just hoped she didn’t mind me filling in her shoes. 

“Dad. Come on. You need to rest.” I told him as I touched his arm. “You’ll work yourself down to the bone at this rate.” I smiled but my pun seemed to land flat. “Dad?” 

“I have to get this done Sans.” His voice sounded so far away to me, so distant. 

“Dad seriously come on! I can’t take care of Papyrus by myself!” This seemed to snap him back to the present. At least a little bit. “I don’t know what to do and… I feel like I’m losing you again!” 

“Oh Sans.” He put down the soul and looked over at me only to walk over and grab my hand. “Ok. You’re right. Bed time.” 

And so he did. He picked up Papyrus and while holding my hand walked into his room. He climbed into the bed holding Papyrus and even let me crawl in after him. But I soon learned it wouldn’t be that easy to fix things. I spend the next two years running between Dad and Papyrus trying to take care of both of them. And it was exhausting. This was when I started having nightmares basically every night. I needed constant naps which barely did anything as I began to have nightmares in them too. 

And that fateful day where everything went wrong. At least for the second time in my life. Papyrus was still a toddler so he was just learning to walk. But I went down to check on Dad only to find sirens going off and red lights to be blaring. Of course my first instinct was to rush over to dad and try to save him. Unaware this was actually making it impossible for Dad to make it out alive. 

“Dad!” I rushed over towards where the lights were coming from and where Dad was typing furiously on the computer. “Dad! Hang on I’ll help you!” 

“Sans?!” He sounded horrified to see me there. “Sans get out of here now!” 

“Are you crazy?!” I couldn’t fathom why he would want to risk death. “I’m not leaving here without you!” 

“Sans.” Suddenly magic swamped me and within moments I was thrown out of the room the door closed and locked with magic. 

But by that point it was too late to stop it. By the time I finally opened the door and dashed into the lab to see if G was ok… he was gone. I looked everywhere, sure he had just been thrown off somewhere, but he was gone. I remember when realization hit me and I fell to the floor to cry and sob. I was just a kid, but I caused my father’s death. How do you even cope with that knowledge? How do you move on? The lab had been our home and now… now it felt like a cage. 

I was only seven at this point but I knew I couldn’t stay here. At least. I didn’t think I could. Dad had been working with a dinosaur monster and doing my best to help where I could for the next six months only made the wound that much worse. I mean I had to take care of Papyrus now and I wasn’t getting paid to help with Al, so I left. I couldn’t bear to be in the lab for another second. I thought that living on the street would be easier. 

It wasn’t. It was harder. We didn’t have a house or even the ability to go to school. I often begged for money, food, blankets, anything anyone would give me. This meant that I was often disliked. Hated even. I lived with Papyrus in a box and I would more often than not go hungry. Because at least that way Papyrus was being well taken care of. Papyrus was the only other person in my life that meant anything to me. 

I didn’t want him to be hurt in anyway. He meant everything to me, he really did. He still does. The man is amazing. After a few years. Three to be exact of trying to get enough money for food and clothes, and blankets we finally had a windfall. Papyrus had gone out exploring and came back the happiest I’d ever seen him. So I followed. I followed him to an abandoned run down building. The walls weren’t in the best shape with the paint peeling off in big chunks but they were stable. It was definitely better shelter than the roof of a building you weren’t inside and a box. 

“See? This could be the living room!” Papyrus began to tell me all the things he had planned for the house. “And over here could be the kitchen with a sink tall enough for giants. And then over here could be a great big T.V!” He looked so happy and I wanted him to remain that way. 

But this house wasn’t ours. We hadn’t bought it. Wasn’t that illegal? I mean sure it would be nice to have this be our home but… However, taking one look at how happy Papyrus was how could I say no to him?

“Alright. But it’s not going to happen overnight bro. It’s going to take a few months to get it to look good.” I told him placing a hand on his skull. He was growing like a weed. “So for now we should go and bring our blankets and box in here until we can get some furniture ok?” 

I knew I’d have to do more begging. Get more gold but I was intent to make Papyrus’ dream a reality and if right now all his dream was this house and turning it into our home then fine. I’d help him do that.

“Cool! Thanks brother!” Papyrus hugged me like I was the biggest hero in the world. 

I was happy for him but as soon as he started bouncing out of the house to get our blankets and the like I looked back at the house. I really hope this wouldn’t come back to bite me in the butt. I mean. I hadn’t asked anyone. I’d have to look into that later. Maybe Al would still talk to me. Maybe… Maybe she would help with the research. If she didn’t still hate me for leaving. I couldn’t think about that much more as I followed Paps to our box and blankets. We really needed some more blankets. If we were going to sleep in that house with no door it would likely be warmer sure but I still wanted to have the semblance of a door. I could worry about that later. 

Once we entered the house with all of our stuff I couldn’t help but smile. Papyrus was like a kid in a candy store. He had so many plans for this house. He already felt at home. I wished I could feel the same. But I couldn’t. I was worried. Would things start to go well for us and then we’d have everything yanked out from under us again? Granted it was my fault we no longer had dad or the house but I wasn’t sure I could be as happy as him. 

I’d just have to hope that for now no one would come back “home” and we would be kicked out. I mean I had control of my magic when Pap was happy but if someone made him cry… Well I kinda lost it. So I did the best I could. I kept talking and I kept hoping. And strangely for a few years things seemed to be going well. This put me on edge. Nothing ever went well without it inevitably going down hill once more. I was just waiting for the downhill moment. So I set up a routine. Going to look for food and begging. Going to get us whatever I could to make our little “home” actually feel like a home. 

But like I knew would happen things went downhill. One day Pap came home crying. I tried to get him to tell me why but he just wouldn’t let me in on it. Saying that it was best I didn’t know. I wanted to respect his privacy, wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt but my soul told me I needed to find out what was going on. So I kept my ears, or what would have been ears if I was a more fleshy type monster, peeled for any info that I could gather. 

“Did you hear?” The bunny woman with her pet bunny was talking to another bunny type monster. “That little skeleton made quite a spectacle of himself the other day.” 

“I know the poor dear.” The other other bunny replied. Normally I would have tuned them out but this might be the only chance I had to find out what was going on with Papyrus. 

“The poor boy. I heard that he was being made fun of and just snapped.” 

Snapped? I thought back for a moment, what exactly could snapped mean? I mean sure I had snapped once too but it was because of dad… Oh no. I needed to find Papyrus and fast. I stood up from my spot on the street and started walking away. I tried to look calm but on the inside I was freaking out. Dad had been there to stop me when I snapped and my magic took control of me. But I hadn’t thought Papyrus would have the same issue. 

I should have known. I wasn’t an idiot! Why didn’t I add it up? Him being strangely secretive, begging me to stay out of it. That wasn’t the Papyrus I knew, and now I knew why. His magic was starting to come in. And thanks to our parents it was strong magic. The magic of two boss monsters. When I finally found him he was in an alleyway crying. The crying didn’t shock me this time. It was scary the first time something like that happened. I didn’t blame him. 

“Bro?” I tried to keep my voice calm even as I felt my own magic rising to prepare to protect me if need be. “Papyrus it’s just me.” 

“Get away from me!” Papyrus sounded so scared so afraid and for good reason. He probably thought he’d hurt me or worse. 

“Bro. You need calm down.” Normally this wasn’t something I’d have to tell him. “You need to take a few deep breaths and let them out ok?” 

“Sans! No seriously get away from me!” Papyrus had noticed that I was walking towards him. Slowly so he didn’t feel trapped because that would instigate a fight and I didn’t want that. “I’ll kill you! Stay away!” 

“Bro, you’re not going to kill me.” I remembered back to when my Dad had handled me and stayed calm. Not letting my own nerves enter my voice. “You’re not dangerous. So why don’t I come over there and hug you? Ok? Look at you bro you’re shaking like a leaf.” 

I reached out a hand towards Papyrus and saw only an orange blast followed by the sound of something hitting bone. “Saaaaaaaaaaaaans!” Papyrus screamed but I had closed my eyes sure that I had been hit by the attack and my body was just taking an insane amount of time to register the pain. 


	3. Controlling Magic

Chapter 3: Controlling Magic

I opened my eyes after a moment only to find that a Gaster Blaster with it’s mouth open over me protecting me like a shield. Had I summoned that? I’d never summoned a Gaster Blaster before. Only used my bones. Where had this Baster come from? It took me a while, longer than I care to admit that while I would be able to summon one at some point I would never be able to summon one this large. Not until much later. But I also didn't know until later that my magic had a mind of it's own and would do whatever it needed to to protect me. So maybe it knew the attack was coming and because it was my first time using this magic it overreacted. Like me. I could see that. Once I had registered that I was ok though and that my eye was burning like it had been when the vials had hit me but not with the same feeling of dusting i stod up and the giant Gaster Blaster faded away with a pop. Papyrus was on his knees sobbing when I was finally able to see him again.

"Bro?" This seemed to snap him out of it and he looked up at me with a strange mix of fear and confusion.

"S-Sans?" His voice shook but he seemed to have a little more control of his magic.

"Yeah. It's me, bro." I took a few steps towards him and tried to keep my smile on my face but seeing him back away confused me. "Bro. What's wrong? I'm not gonna hurt you. You know that don't you?"

"Yes... But..." Papyrus seemed to find his words after a minute. "I've never seen a monster's eye... go dark like that before."

What was he talking about? Go dark? I mean sure I could see and it was a little off kilter but it wasn't anything to bad. What was he talking about. I tried not to let it show on my face but I must have done a pretty poor job of it, as Papyrus frowned and seemed to look into his backpack for a minute. He pulled out a broken piece of mirror and handed it to me with shaking hands. It didn't take me long to see what he meant. Only my left eye socket had an eye. And not only that but it was a light blue almost teal in color. That wasn't the biggest shock about it though. My left eye had an almost teal flame of magic coming out from it alng with a whoosing sound. No wonder Papyrus was frightened. Ok alright. Settle down Sans. I closed my eyesockets and focused on my soul, then slowly worked on calming my fear. Yes, I had little HoPe. Yes I could die in one hit. But Papyrus wasn't going to dust me. Everything was fine. I was fine. Aftera few deep calming breaths I opened my eye sockets again and I had sight in both of them. Did that mean I had successfully calmed myself down?

"It's ok Bro." I kneeled down and opened my arms to him. "I should have warned you about your magic. It can flare up like mine just did when your soul feels like you're going to be in danger."

Papyrus rushed into my arms and started crying at that, not that I can blame him. Hell seeing it in myself was pretty rattling. Heh. All joking aside I'd have to really work on that. I couldn't have that just popping up whenever I got a little concerned. I mean... I would need to ask people for money. Who was going to give money to someone they thought would dust them? No one. That's who. So I learned early on that Paps was a lot stronger than I gave him credit for. I had no idea how much stronger until much later. And that day will haunt me for the rest of my life. The one time, ok that's not true, the FIRST time I had no clue what to do or how to handle the situation that I found us in.

A few years passed with relative ease. Papyrus was starting to really grow into his own within our makeshift house. I had gained an accidental friend in Grillby just by going to his restraunt all the time for our food. It was cheap, tasted good, and I could usually get enough for both of us and not have to hold back on eating for Papy's sake. All in all it seemed like things were looking up. But as I've learned over the years. When they start looking up, watch out because it means that they are on their way to rock bottom again. And this rock bottom... it was scary. Papyrus had an old phone that Alphys had given him, along with my own. Now Papyrus always answered his phone. He never let it go to voice mail but strangely when I called him this time... it didn't pick up. I tried not to let it bug me, he'd call me back, maybe he just hadnt heard the phone. No big deal.

But there was this nagging feeling in my soul that it was a big deal. I tried to stomp it down but it was kind of unnerving. So I tried to play it off. Head over to my sentury station and try to do my job. Well one of my many jobs. Something to keep us going. But I was only half focused. I mean why wasn't Papyrus calling my back. Why was he not answering my calls. Finally about five hours of fretting later I called into my last job for the night and went looking for Papy. Something wasn't right. No sooner had I started looking than I heard my phone ring. I practically jumped out of my skin (heh) at it's sudden sharp call. I answered without looking at the caller I.D.

"Hello?" Great my voice sounded clipped and frantic. Ok deep breaths. In and hold. Out and hold. "Hello?" I tried again and this time it didn't sound so nervous.

"Sans." That was Grillby's voice, but something wasn't right. Grillby rarely called me unless he needed me to come into work for him so he could take a break or a sick day, or because it was an... emergency. "Sans I think you should come to my restaurant. Now."

That was a veiled order. He wasn't suggesting. Fuck! Something really bad must have happened. But what about Papyrus? Did I risk ignoring whatever was going on that Grillby made one of his rare calls to me to help my brother who might not have been in danger at all, or help Grillby? Grillby turned out to make that choice for me with his next words.

"Sans. It's Papyrus." That did it I let my magic swamp me and teleported outside of Grillby's to then dash into the restaurant.

Everyone has huddled around in a circle around Grillby but the man wasn't talking. I dashed over to him and he led me past the wave of people into the back and there was my worst fear. Papyrus was in one of the magic Ambulances we had if monsters needed extensive healing and he was passed out.

"Oh god! Pap!" I wanted to rush over to him and get him awake and talking when I felt a warm hand on my left shoulder blade.

"Sans. Papyrus is not in a good way." Grillby told me and I felt a bolt of cold run down my spine. "When I found him following a hunch he was broken in many places. But they've managed to heal most of the bones. However, as you know, magic can be a finicky beast."

"No." I knew I was whispering but I couldn't help it.

Papyrus couldn't be hurt. Not like that. Not in a way that his magic wouldn't work. He couldn't be.

"His basic magic should still work," Grillby told me but I was barely there. "But not... the magic in his eyes."

That snapped me alert. "What?"

"He was in a rock slide of some sort Sans." Grillby confessed and to his credit, he looked about as sorry as I felt. "His eyesockets were pretty badly damaged. He needs to go to the Hospital but I wanted to make sure you were here before they left."

I nodded almost numb to feeling now and stepped into the Ambulance. Once the doors were closed I walked over to Papyrus and grabbed his limp hand. When no one was looking I checked his HP. 2 out of 100. He was that close to falling. And I hadn't been there for him when he needed me the most. God damn it! I wanted to scream, beg, and cry, but what good would that do? This had already happened and I just had to roll with the punches. I likely wouldn't have been so upset if I was the one hurt but because it was Paps... it made everything worse. I don't know when I passed out, only that it was after we reached the hospital and I was told that Paps was stable. I think I was crying but then I don't really know. I just know that I was passed out soon afterwards, my lack of sleep getting to me. When I woke up it was to the sound of Paps groaning.

"Paps?!" I knew my voice was raised but I didn't care enough to lower it right now. "Stars, thank god you're ok. You had me, worried bro."

"Sans?" Shit. He sounded so weak still. "Sans... It's dark."

"Yeah." That's when I remembered the part I had hoped was a dream. "You were in an accident. Do you remember?"

I wanted to start slow. No need to worry him if I didn't have to.

"Y-Yes." That telltale quiver was back in his voice.

"So... In the accident, your eyesockets were really hurt." I gulped down the ball of tension that had built up in my bones and spine. "They were able to heal you, bro, since your hope was so low, but they couldn't heal everything."

"It's permanent. Isn't it?" The question shocked me partly because I wasn't done the explaining and partly because I wasn't expecting him to be so... calm.

"Yeah, bro." I sighed and looked down. "I'm so sorry."

"Sans don't." The order made me bolt up to a sit. "Don't apologize for something you have no control over."

I hadn't thought to look over at Papyrus to see how he was taking this just relying on his voice to see how he was taking it. But when I looked over that's when I saw the tears, the look of defeat, I'd seen it plenty of times before in the mirror before he was awake. And seeing it on Paps... I broke.

"Hey. It's ok. It's ok." I rose to my feet, sat on the bed and pulled him into a gentle hug.

He was still recovering and I didn't want to hurt him. It took him a minute but I soon felt his arms around me and heard the sobbing he had been trying to hide. He was still young, and it must have felt like the world was ending for him. Not that I blamed him in the least. The little brother who I had only wanted to protect and the one time he needed me to protect him and I couldn't do it.

"How bad do I look?" Paps asked after a while and I thought about lying to him but he would no doubt hear it in my voice.

"I'm not gonna lie to you... you're not looking great right now," I told him honestly. "I mean you're healing so the cracks are getting smaller every day. That's a good thing Paps. A really good thing."

Papyrus was so silent now, it was unlike him and I'll admit it made me worried. He seemed so far away and I had no idea what I could do to bring him back. I just knew whatever it was I felt so uselss. Papyrus had lost something I had been trying to give him for years. Freedom. He would never again be able to dash in and hope for the best. He would have to plan out every moment of his day. And knowing that, knowing that he would have to ask for help from others, being completely lost to the world seemingly... It hurt. I began to wonder what it was about my life that made the stars think they needed to knock me down a few notches ever few years. Did the stars just think I was starting to not be grateful for what I have? I was always grateful. Even if I wanted to help him. I sighed again hoping it was just in my mind.

"Sans?" Papyrus' voice snapped me out of my daze.

"Yeah Paps?" I looked over at him and found him acting not like himself. Hell, he was acting... like me.

"Can I... be... alone... please?" His voice seemed strained a bit.

"Paps-" Before I could say more he interrupted me.

"Please, Sans. I'm not trying to be rude." He looked away from me but I doubt he knew where I was truely. "I just really wanna be alone right now."

"Ok..." I tried not to let my disappointment enter my voice but I'm not sure I succeeded. "If you need me I'll be right outside or a phone call away. Ok?"

"Ok." Papyrus tried to sound happy and like he was smiling as I stood up and headed for the door but I could tell he wasn't.

As soon as I left the room though I took a deep breath, slid down the closed door and curled in a ball began to cry once more. Poor Paps. There were some many things wrong with this! It should have been me. It should have been ME! I had lived far longer that Paps ever had, why was I the one who had to watch him lose his ability to see? Why was i the one that had to stay by his bedside and watch him suffer? Why me of all monsters?! I don't remember hearing the footsteps of Grillby but I do remember his hand touching my skull.

"Gillbz?" I asked more out of confusion than for a response.

Grillby wasn't much of a talker. Hadn't been for as long as I've known him. Well as long as I remember knowing him. He prefers to leave things unsaid or to talk with his eyes. It made things both great and awful. Sometimes you could assume the wrong things and sometimes you could assume the right things or even better things, but unless he spoke it made it impossible to know if you assumed the right or wrong thing until later. So it became a game of patience with him. Waiting for him to speak or for him to move in a way that left little to the imagination. Grillby was silent for a bit longer before he pointed behind him to the door of the hospital with the other hand open in an almost welcoming manner.

"I told Paps I'd be out here if he needed me," I whined softly when the light glare told me this wasn't up for debate. "Alright... Just a short walk ok?"

I slowly stood wiped my eye sockets and headed out walking with Grillby. If nothing else it kept me focused on something else. We walked for a bit and seemingly nothing happened or even was said but this was just Grillby. It was something I was used to at this point. Something I understood.

"Sans. You mustn't blame yourself." Grillby's voice wasn't how many people imagined. It was deep and a little gravelly. The one time I asked him about it he simply said old injury and that was that.

"Grillbz. But if I had been there-" I started but we both knew the answer to that question.

"If you were there things could have gone much worse." That sobered me enough to shut me up. "Sans. You only have one HoPe. You honestly think you've gone through life and Papyrus hasn't figured that out yet? If you were there you could have been dusted and then Papyrus would be left all alone in a giant world and who's to say he wouldn't still be blind then? All it would cause is more suffering on his part as well as your own. Is that what you want?"

"N-No. But-"

"But nothing Sans. Papyrus needs you now more than ever. He doesn't need you to be strong for him he needs you to help him. He won't be able to do things on his own but considering how close your guys magic is to your eye sockets whose to say that there won't be other side effects that none of us are aware of?"

I had never seen Grillby talk this much meaning he was really adamate about this. Was I really so blind to the situation myself? Was I really being the selfish one here? Of course, Papyrus would need my help. Of course, there might be a backlash. Of course, he would need me to be there and forgiving of any outbusts. And here I was feeling sorry for only his freedom? Losing your freedom was really hard sure, but losing your freedom and having no control, that would distroy Papyrus. He wasn't a control freak but he did like to have control over himself at the very least. How ironic that the blind one in this situation was me and not Paps.

"I'm sorry Grillby." I frowned at the snow as we walked. "You're right." Damn my pride and overprotectiveness. "But Grillby... What do I do? I've never had to think about things that one would need being blind. It's never been information I've needed to know. And it's rare in Monsters since our magic can heal most anything. What do I do?"

"If it were me, I'd look in the dump." Grillby told me strangely with an almost caring smile. "It may be rare in monsters. Who's to say it's rare in humans."

That was a good point. Humans didn't have magic. Maybe things were different for them. Maybe they had books on this.

"Thank you Grillby." Since we had been on the street it seemed Grillby had taken it upon himself to be our protector. I wouldn't say new father as no one could replace Dad, at least not to me since I remembered him. Papyrus likely didn't. "That's a good idea. I wish I wasn't so stressed and my skull was thinking clearer."

"Well someone has to be the numbskull in your family," Grillby grumbled out and I stopped in my tracks.

Had he just made a pun? Grillby. The man who hated puns with a firey passion. The man that wanted nothing to do with ANYONE that made a pun no matter how small. That Grillby had just made a pun? Was the world ending? Was there some metorite that was about to annilate us all? Was some zombie appocalipse about to erupt?

"Did... Did you just make a pun?" I had to ask.

Grillby looked at me before taking a deep breath and sighing. "Yes, Sans. Yes, I did." He sighed once more. "Just because I don't like puns doesn't mean I don't know how to make one or two."

"Nice!" I couldn't help but be proud of Grillby though now that I had an idea on how to help Papyrus I had to go looking. I had to find something. Anything to help him. I had to. "Well I'll go look in the dump, there has to be something at least." And I took off before I could hear what Grillby was going to say.


End file.
